Applying research based lessons to one’s own life

Being a bit of a ‘wannabe’ academic I like attend anything and everything in London which will further my understanding of psychology. This week I went along to the London & Home counties branch of the British Psychology Society to find out more about applying psychology research to my own life. The ‘Applied’ aspect of the MAPPCP I am studying is my favourite feature of the course, given a chance I will experiment on myself all the time. Any new intervention I come across is added to my growing list of ‘How to be Happy’. There is no rationale for this, whatever works for me I apply. I didn’t conduct a baseline test of my SWB before MAPP but I have a  feeling that I have  grown in wellbeing whilst studying at UEL; I’m bouncier , more confident, even cheerier than I previously was. I feel more ME.

  

The first speaker was Christian Jarrett, sharing tips for using psychology to get people to do what you want. Not in the least unethical apparently. We are allowed as Psychologists to use this knowledge to get our own way. Isn’t that amazing? 
We can legitimately carry out slightly dodgy ‘studies’ to prove that people’s power of persuasion can be replicated. My favourite piece of research that Christian shared related to some male French researchers getting girls phone numbers or asking them to dance by lightly touching them on the arm. Waiters also use this trick to get a bigger tip!

It’s also very useful to know that if you apologise for the rain then ask if you can borrow someone’s phone they are more likely to comply and you if scare someone before asking for a favour they may well agree as fear creates a distraction. Playing happy background music that is familiar to the listener has a similar power and you can ward off possible muggers by utilising the theory of interpersonal complementarity.

Christian Jarrett’s  5 top tips for getting what you want

•        Use the power of touch

•        Aplogise for the rain

•        Use the fear then relief trick

•        Play happy music

•        Utilise interpersonal complementarity 

My takeaway was people are more obedient than you think and you are more persuasive than you think, but at the end of the day manners and saying please when asking for a request really does the trick.

I’m wondering how to incorporate all of the above into getting my own way more often so if I bump into you in the street and pretend I know you, touch your arm as I say sorry for the awful weather whilst humming ‘singing in the rain’  then ask to borrow a fiver please …well you’ve been warned!

The second speaker of the evening was Dr Aneta Tunariu who spoke of her own experiences in learning to become a psychologist and how she applied each aspect of her training to her own life. The phrase that really resonated with me was ‘to develop professionally is to develop personally’. I feel that the process of being in positive psychology education has made me a better person; I am not only more intellectually aware but my emotional intelligence is greater, in applying  PP interventions to my own life I am becoming the version of myself I had  hoped was there all along.  In overcoming my academic limitations I have “strengthened and expanded my resilience as an adaptation to the environment”  which Aneta explains as happening when we are mindful of -

•          What I am

•          What I can

•       What I have

•          Choice: responsibility to choose and my own choice.

Aneta also talked of the links with positive emotions, wellbeing and personal growth, sharing Barabra Fredricksons research results and how they can be applied. I need to work on getting my positivity ratio up to the magic 3:1! 
iNEAR is Aneta's  recently designed psychological intervention informed by existential philosophy, positive psychology, developmental coaching, social psychology and psychotherapy. It has been successfully piloted at a large school in South East England and is also being tested as a framework for positive psychology coaching. 

My favourite takeaway from her presentation was her parting slide ‘ We first develop habits then habits develop us’. I think one of the ways that I have applied research based lessons to my own personal growth is by acquiring the habit of mindfulness and mindfulness has developed me towards being kinder, more compassionate, more understanding and I have gained greater clarity. Good habits make us happy. If research can inform us how to cultivate habits that make us, and the world around us, better then I will happily try them out and may even try to come up with some new studies to provide supporting evidence.

I would love to hear how you make research work for you? Have you tried any awesome PPIs? Does your own research provide you with new ways of being?
Let me know what works and how? 

ColourWalking: Vibrant Flaneurs, A Moving Art Form Through the Streets of London.

ColourWalking: Vibrant Flaneurs

Galina is a stylist and owns a vintage store, Gigi’s Dressing Room in Walthamstow, East London. I met Galina at ‘ColourWalk’, an initiative she launched 5 months ago as a way to bring together the colourful personalities she had collected through her distinctive way of dressing and being.

She kindly agreed to meet up at Gigi’s to tell me about her philosophy and how she started the ColourWalk.

How did ColourWalk come about?

I was influenced by AdvancedStyle, I looked at what they were doing, and I thought they are just getting dressed up, walking around New York.  So I put up a Facebook page and said ‘who wants to dress up and get together?’ And it became a celebration of who we are and how we dress. The first ColourWalk was at the V&A, we wandered and chatted. I was thrilled Molly Parkin came along, she has been an inspiration to me, and it was lovely she joined us.  We all just support each other with the way we express ourselves through our way of dressing, we love being creative. I used to think that I would need to find ways to fund a foundation, to change the world in a big way, but you know this is what I can do every day…..just be me. If I can be a little bit of inspiration, if I can connect with people and share my values, then that’s enough.

The ColourWalk has already been forging new connections with amazing women like Sue Kreitzman, who attended the last one at Spitalfields, and now Advanced Style are saying ‘shall we do a ColourWalk?’  As Galina says, “they influenced me and then it goes back around….It’s always been about sharing ideas and collaborating for me. I don’t see this as ‘mine’ it’s for all of us to have fun with. I don’t have an agenda. It’s not like it’s a movement that I want to control! And ColourWalk is about all shapes, sizes, ages, colour, it’s about diversity and commonality. It’s for everyone to enjoy.

Where do these ideas come from?

I grew up under communism, I didn’t have much opportunity to be creative, that side of me was quite suppressed, I was sunny on the outside as a child but inside I was a little bit depressed. I couldn’t express myself. Not with the way I dressed, there was very little choice. But my grandmother had a sewing machine and I took her sixties pieces and reworked them for myself so even then I was beginning to take some control of how I looked.

Then at eighteen I came to London and it was like Alice in Wonderland. I went to Epsom Antique Market and I just went crazy. All the colours and all the choice; such a contrast to the greyness of growing up in Bulgaria.

And then I had my children, I was still quite young, for a while I wasn’t so interested in how I looked. When the children started school other mothers would ask about my clothes and I’d say come to the house and they would try stuff on and borrow things. I would style them; that would bring about changes in the way they saw themselves. I realised then that this was a kind of way of doing therapy. I had intended to go back to education and train in psychology but suddenly I had this business and it didn’t feel relevant to train as a counsellor. I seemed to naturally influence people to try something different, to step out of their comfort zone. We all have a need to express ourselves, to be creative, if I can encourage that, if I can help someone find out a bit more about who they are, to be brave and show themselves, then that feels good. And that’s what happens at Gigi’s. When clients say they have been ‘Gigified’ and they feel so much better, it makes me happy. I’m playing a small part in making it better for someone.

How does the way you dress reflect who you are?

When I wake up in the morning I look around my wardrobe and this item jumps out; so it makes me look a certain way and my outfit of the day is literally 100% reflection of my mood; of my vibration. Sometimes I feel down and I think I can change this. I accept that feeling of being sad, I’m not denying those feelings, but when I’m like that then that’s when I will choose something that is even more outrageous. I don’t want to hide away on those days. I will deliberately put myself in a position where I get more attention. I will embrace my attention seeking inner little child! I want to maintain a sense of humility but there is a difference between that and putting yourself down. When I dress in this way, when I am authentic, I communicate with more people, I make relationships and straight away that makes me feel better. And those connections make others feel good too. And I am inspired to play with my identity to forge more links to others and we create this cycle of inspiration. And it’s all because of the manner in which I dress.

Do you see Dress as having a way to make not just an individual happier but having a bigger part to play in the world?

So on a personal level when I suppress who I am it makes me unhappy, why I should be a particular way to suit others? I don’t want to fragmentize my personality, to split off my creativity; I want to express all of me so I can be a fully nuanced person. I can be quite political in the way I mix up the symbolism in how I dress; I take different cultural references and wear them together. This often leads to a dialogue. That’s good.  I want to spark off ideas and debate. My clothes do that. People stop me in the street and they may not always be complimentary but we talk and who knows they may go home and think yes we are all the same really. In this part of London we have such a mix of cultures it’s good to learn about each other, we are all humans underneath, I may not agree with your views but I can try to understand them. I want to create a community where we are all accepted, I do that in my own little way in Gigi’s. People drop by to chat and try on clothes and play with the way they look, people from all backgrounds and communities. It’s all-encompassing. That’s my vision that we all get along together, no one is left out. I start with myself, my ideas about fashion, and colour and the arts and how they have helped me, then I hope that my way helps others; that my love, of creativity, colour, way of being, expands and brings about healing and forgiveness. We can all share that. I don’t see fashion as being superficial if it can help me with these goals.

Gigi's Dresing Room

My Reflections

Galina shared so much with me during our chat. She has a beautiful philosophy on life. I can see how transformative her way of looking at the world is for her clients, she is nurturing, kind and encouraging. There is no sense that her way of dressing is right for everyone, but she inspires others to find their own way of being that can be expressed in the way that they dress. I love her vision for the unifying qualities that fashion can have for communities. The ColourWalk is a simple, tangible way of connecting people to each other, to walk and talk and experience a time and space together that is constrained only by a love of self-expression; like colourful Flaneurs, a moving art form through the streets of London.

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A journey from Ego to Selflessness in Elite Sport.

I have never given much thought to sports psychology; I will skip references to sport when they are introduced even by my favourite researcher,Adam Grant. It sometimes feels as if male positive psychology writers all conspire to introduce ‘soccer’ into any book.  I  do however appreciate the cross over with leadership across all areas and in the interest of expanding my knowledge attended a talk at the BPS in London by sports psychologist SteveSylvester.

Steve shared his personal journey on ego mountain and his discovery of the selfless route. He explored his career as both a  professional sportsman and psychologist to highlight the way in which his own ego challenged the success (and otherwise) of his career. He detailed of how he was able to trace the variations in his results by looking at his own ‘ME’ focus and how his research has continued to show a correlation between selflessness and winning across many sports.

Steve’s research methodology is time consuming and meticulous, he observes and listens to both individuals and teams, evidence gathering without judgement, before collecting data with in-depth interviews and group discussions. His qualitative research seems to produce rich layers of information at both micro and macro level; ideas that can be applied to individuals, teams and the culture of contemporary sports. His findings challenge the assumptions that in order to win we must be focused on beating others rather than being the best version of ourselves.  The line that kept occurring to me was ‘there is no I in team’. Looking through a PP lens many of his discoveries tally with concepts of flourishing, flow and mindfulness. I especially like his views on giving, they reflect Adam Grant’s work in showing that, contrary to popular expectations, when we ask how can I help rather than what can I get from this situation we create personal success as well as promoting collective success. In sports we expect the individual to be the centre of their universe; Steve’s work shows that when the motivation to be the best comes from a more collective mindset everyone wins. He told anecdotes about times when the difference between ‘about to fail’ and going on to win were attributable to an outward-looking mindset; the desire to be authentically your best for those you love or the team rather than forcing  a  ‘I must win or else’ approach.

Steve has developed simple steps to enable his research to be applied to all areas of life. Detox your EGO, is a straight forward approach to losing ‘What is it about for me?’ To becoming ‘What can I do for others?’

Takeaways for me last night include:

• What do I avoid about myself?
• Are my heart and mind aligned?
• Am I having fun? Is everyday a Saturday?
• Do I seek evidence that I am ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or am I able to just accept?
• Can I tolerate ambiguity?
• What’s going on below the surface?

My favourite insight from the evening is ‘How can I create a bright sunny internal climate when I perform?’  As a coach and practitioner I hope to generate environments in which my clients are able to flourish; in my own personal way of ‘being a coach’ rather than ‘coaching’ I want to lead others to shine. I want to lose my EGO and run naked with Balloons! (note to self :perhaps not whilst coaching.)

Steve has a vision of elite sports leaders who show us a new way to behave, to reflect positive personal selflessness that we can all model. His work with schools to teach children that you can be ‘nice and a winner’ is taking his research to the next generation of champions.  I was left last night with questions about applying this research to politics and leadership. Do female leaders find it easier to adapt these views to creating flourishing cultures? Are there studies exploring gender differences in selflessness, success and sports?  To what extent is a positive psychology sport coaching culture affecting the way that male dominated sports, such as football, are enabling men to explore their mental health and well-being? Can we as coaches use this research to encourage better ‘Mental Wealth’ in a population (men) that has been traditionally more resistant to self-reflection? And yes I am Aware that I have many gender stereotypes going on here but the views in the room last night appear to confirm that male sportsmen still feel that expressing emotions may make them look weak.

By his own admission Steve is still surprised that his research consistently uncovers the same results, I’m looking forward to seeing more real life evidence.  So how likely are we to see a culture of kindness in the premiere league this season? And what will this mean at Stamford Bridge? Can I look forward to more hugs and smiles at home games?

Find out more at:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enecpU186oE

http://www.londonlive.co.uk/news/2016-05-12/steven-sylvester

http://www.adamgrant.net/

Collaboration,Community & Creativity: ECPP 2016 (Part 2)

Disclaimer: I am not a scientist. My background is in the arts and I am still reflecting on why any ‘proper’ science department would have taken me on board to study for a master’s in Psychology.  So thank you, UEL, for taking that risk!

The ECPP 2016 was my first chance to experience the positive psychology world beyond UEL. I was expecting experiential happiness. I was looking for others to creatively collaborate with in order to feel I belonged in this community of ‘clever, proper scientists’.

As someone whose signature strengths include creativity and a love of beauty and excellence, I was looking for ways to explore these areas at  ECPP. At first glance, the programme didn’t seem to offer any such opportunity. Where was the art and creativity? The programme had two entries mentioning creativity: Sue Langley – who was using emotions intelligently to enhance creativity and innovation, and Auguste Dumouilla – whose poster was about creativity, emotion and well-being.

Due to the hectic nature of the conference, I didn’t get to Sue’s session or find Auguste’s poster. However, I did find plenty of creativity to celebrate in Angers:

•  The conference centre was teaming with individuals expressing themselves through the way they dressed; so much research material for my flourishing fashion project and an Instagram feed on its own!
  

• There was also a constant thread running through the keynotes I attended that in order for PP to evolve we need to look outside of the sciences and reach across to other disciplines; collaborations which harness divergent views to create original outcomes.

•  Coaching Psychology and creativity: I attended a symposium on coaching and PP, perfect partners for systemic change in which all of the speakers expressed creativity in the manner they presented as well as the content.

•  Illona Boniwell’s closing keynote called for ‘making PP tangible’ which to my ears was a shout out to arts, crafts and design to get involved.

My vision for interdisciplinary collaboration to form a positive psychology art community begins with the very spaces the science of PP already inhabits: universities. UEL is a centre for amazing arts education. I would love to see the Psychology Department  reaching out to the arts in order to create a bi-directional culture of sharing research and ideas. Art graduates would benefit from accessing the wellbeing interventions that applied PP has to offer. Stress levels of the staff could be reduced with individual PP coaching, perhaps using coaching students who had a particular interest in creative practises to offer lunchtime sessions.  

The architects could collaborate on ways to make environments of flourishing informed by PP research. Research for innovative ways to make PP concrete would be enhanced by designers who aren’t constrained by the boundaries of science.  Who better to take a complex concept and make it useable than artists? It’s what they do in every area of their work. And of course the fashion department could make collections that make us all happy!  

On my last afternoon, I explored Angers galleries with a friend; bonding over art is one of my favourite experiences. There is a very special connection that occurs when we share the feelings that surface when we encounter art. I have ‘coached’ whilst wondering in galleries, the impact of imagery on allowing creative ways to surface never ceases to amaze. That very personal end to my first PP conference shaped my overall impression of the event.

If the success, on an individual level, of a conference is making one contact and finding one piece of inspiration then ECPP 2016 exceeded that. I came away with so many ideas that it has taken me a month to filter them and make any sense of where they fit with my personal vision. (I am a percolator not a procrastinator!) I cemented existing connections and made new contacts with positive people from all over the world. I hope that in sharing my ideas about the conference on social media I will continue to form new associations that offer me opportunities to hear differing opinions and perspectives.

On the flight home – so full of positive people that the cabin was buzzing with energy – I chatted with Felicia Huppert. It’s always exciting when you can talk to one of your heroes,  I mentioned how well her dress had stood out at her keynote speech and the impact it had from the back of the auditorium. She replied: “that’s my happy dress, I wore it for a special birthday and it always makes me feel good.” I apologise for not asking if I can use the quote, Felicia, but the validation you gave my research made me feel as if there is a place for me in Positive Psychology. Perhaps fashion and PP is the perfect fusion.

I went to Angers looking for the three ‘C’s: collaboration, community and creativity; I found them.

PS : in case you missed Tim Lomas’s paper on PP and Arts the link is here: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/299882200_Positive_Art_Artistic_Expression_and_Appreciation_as_an_Exemplary_Vehicle_for_Flourishing

For more inspiration on links between art and well-being: 

http://repository.upenn.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2866&context=edissertations

http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/beautiful-minds/the-creative-life-and-well-being/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/positive-psychology-in-the-classroom/201211/the-art-positive-psychology

http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/07421656.2013.757513

http://www.trauma-informedpractice.com/resources/art-therapy-expressive-arts-and-positive-psychology/

http://positivepsychologycanada.com/Resources/Documents/Unlocking%20Creativity%20-%20Sue%20Langley.pdf

http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17533015.2016.1166142

http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0305764X.2013.855172

http://ijebcm.brookes.ac.uk/documents/special10-paper-09.pdf

10 transformative takeaways from ECPP 2016 (Part 1)

        1.  Lisa Vivoll Straume (MIND)  - Toolkit Strength Based Development Workshop

I learnt:  i) How to map my own strength quadrant.         

               ii) The importance of individual strengths when building a team

               ii) The power of Table Top and Simulations to create solutions.

I felt:      Elated. Inspired. Energised.  

I will:       Take care not to overuse my core strengths and to pay attention when my ‘allergy’ strengths are activated so I pause and respond rather than react.

Want to know more?    MIND

Straume, L. V. & Vittersø, J. (2015). Well-being at work: Some differences between life satisfaction and personal growth as predictors of subjective health and sick-leave. Journal of Happiness Studies. 16, 149-168. doi:10.1007/s10902-014-9502-y

Straume, L.V., (2015). "Leadership development in positive psychology: Practical methods for balancing the use of core values and strengths» Symposium presentation at the EAWOP Conference, Oslo: May 22

Kvernmo, A. (2015). Symposium "Magic Moments. Strength-spotting in value-oriented leadership development» Symposium presentation at the EAWOP Conference, Oslo: May 22, 2015

     2. James Pawleski- What is positive psychology? The importance of Theory for Research and Practice.

I learnt:  i) Work is still needed to clarify the core concepts of PP and communicate them more effectively.

                 ii) I can give you a RED cape which will let you stop “bad” things. Or I can give you a GREEN cape which will let you grow good” things. Which cape will you choose?

                ii) Fractal flourishing holds out for the well-being of individuals and groups, valuing happiness in the short-term and in the long-term. This   approach  works both locally and globally.

I felt:      uplifted that the positive in PP is still relevant.  

I will:       Always pack a reversible cape.

Want to know more? James Pawleski

https://jamespawelski.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/defining-the-positive-part-i-jpegs.pdf

https://jamespawelski.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/defining-the-positive-in-positive-psychology-part-ii-1.pdf

     3.  Bob Vallerand  It's about time: The role of passion in adaptive self process.

I learnt:  i) Harmonious passion is good for us.

                 ii) Optimal functioning is temporal.

                iii) The highest level of well-being is achieved with a positive present state combined with a positive/resolved past and an optimistic future.

I felt:      passionate…. All-be-it with a touch of obsession.

I will:       Take a positive outlook on time and combine it with harmonious passion in order to achieve optimum psychological well-being.

Want to know more? 

https://selfdeterminationtheory.org/SDT/documents/2008_Vallerand_CanPsych.pdf

https://ippe.acu.edu.au/events/brown-bag-session-its-about-time-presenter-professor-robert-j-vallerand-ippe/

    4. Barbara Frederickson Why Prioritize Positivity?

I learnt:  i) Prioritizing positivity can trigger upward spirals of lifestyle change and the development of harmonious passion.

                 ii) Individuals who seek positivity, with decisions about how to organize their day-to-day lives, may be happier than those who don’t.

                ii) Studies suggest that seeking happiness, although a balancing act, is a worthwhile pursuit. 

I felt:      Absorbed and engaged…And also a little bit awed (bit of a crush going on I think!)

I will:       Set aside time each day for feel good activities which are as vital to my wellbeing as exercise, nutrition and sleep.

Want to know more? http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25401290

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/268449790_Prioritizing_Positivity_An_Effective_Approach_to_Pursuing_Happiness

     5.  Mohsen Fatemi -Positive Psychology and Psychology of Possibility 

I learnt:  i) Infinite possibilities unfold themselves in emergent modes of mindfulness.

                 ii) Langerian psychology of possibility concentrates on what can be.

                iii) Only one participant is needed to substantiate that something is possible.

I felt:      Validated for  wanting qualitative research, most especially IPA, to be more prevalent in PP.

I will:       Notice new things. Live proactively in the moment. Be sensitive towards context. Celebrate multiple perspectives.

Want to know more? http://langermindfulnessinstitute.com/sayyed-mohsen-fatemi/

     6.  Neil Garret how the brain forms optimistic beliefs

I learnt:  i) People incorporate good news into their existing beliefs in a normative manner but they discount bad news leading to optimistically biased beliefs.

                 ii) This asymmetry fluctuates in response to changes in the environment in a way that may be adaptive.

               iii)  Balanced variation in this is more likely to be observed in depression and middle age.

I felt:      Not clever enough to be a doing a science masters!  

I will:       Adjust my beliefs in response to external information with more consideration.

Want to know more? http://www.pnas.org/content/109/42/17058.full

http://affectivebrain.com/?page_id=257

     7. Felicia Huppert  What makes people flourish? 

I learnt:  i) The real reason well-being matters is that well-being is an end in itself – an ultimate good.

                 ii) The skills of attention, emotion regulation, and self-compassion all underpin flourishing.

                ii) Mindfulness is the key to unlocking these skills.

 I felt:      Mindful. Kindful. And amazed at the fact that Felicia’s dress was such a good choice as it created an impact even from the very back of the auditorium.  

I will:      Continue to be mindful.

Want to know more? http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3545194/

https://scholar.google.co.uk/citations?view_op=view_citation&hl=en&user=1KRt4NAAAAAJ&sortby=pubdate&citation_for_view=1KRt4NAAAAAJ:4MWp96NkSFoC

8. Neil Thin - Aspirational social planning: beyond social problems and living standards.

I learnt:  i) Good minds need good societies.           

                 ii) The importance of  social transformations required to support individual flourishing.

                ii) A cross –disciplinary approach is needed to find innovative ways to inform public policy in bringing about the changes necessary for great societies.  

I felt:      Elated. Inspired. Energised.  

I will:       Take small steps to collaborate with others to find ways to make our environments more conducive to well-being.

Want to know more? http://www.happinessandwellbeing.org/neil-thin/

http://www.socresonline.org.uk/19/2/5.html

    9. Coaching psychology and positive psychology – perfect partners.  Symposium.  Stephen Palmer,  Suzy Green & Ilona Boniwell

I learnt:  i) there is no ‘I’ in team.           

                 ii) You can take the psychology out of coaching but not the psychology out of coaching psychology.

                iii) Problem Island can be transformed into the solution island with the right  coaching questions.

                 iv) Creating a positive culture fits naturally with coaching.

                v) Happiness bubbles exist.

I felt:      In the right Room, at the right time with the right people.

I will:       Not groan (GROWn) when I use the GROW model yet again.

               Create my own ‘dashboard’

               Not be embarrassed about being creative with PP; its OK to embrace my deviant thinking…being original can be an asset in this field.

Want to know more?   http://www.isfcp.net/ 

http://www.thepositivityinstitute.com.au/

https://www.positran.fr/

http://www.happyandwell.com.au/positive-psychology-coaching-optimising-potential-2

http://www.michellemcquaid.com/ecpp-podcasts-play/

10. Ilona Boniwell –  Positive Education :making positive psychology tangible

I learnt:  i) THINKERING – Think + tinker : the creation and understanding of concepts in the mind while tinkering with the hands.  

                 ii) ‘Hands on thinking’ – purpose, framing, sharing, exploring, combining.      

     ii) “You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation” Plato

 I felt:      Delighted to be part of this ‘family’ of PP. Sad that this was the end of my first experience of a PP conference. Positive that we can make a difference by applying this science stuff with creativity, originality and flair.

I will:       Take my new found confidence ( I wouldn’t have dreamt that I could be so brave as to ask the closing question!) into my life.

Want to know more?

https://lifelabs.psychologies.co.uk/users/579-dr-ilona-

boniwell http://www.zimbardo.com/downloads/2003%20(in%20press)%20Balancing%20Ones%20Time%20Pers...pdf

Flourishing Fashion : An Experiential Wardrobe

There is a saying in academia “all research is me-search”. I suspect this is even truer when the researcher is a psychologist. All my life I have loved clothes. I have worked with fashion and design in some form or other since I was fifteen. I switched careers to become a therapist and am now completing a positive psychology masters. It was natural to turn to dress and fashion as a research topic.

I could chart my life’s ups and downs, the emotional highs and lows, through the clothes that I wore. From  my wedding dresses (two) to the dress I wore for my brothers funeral, or the party frock I have on in the photo of my fifth birthday to the jumpsuit I wore for my fiftieth, or one of the many stripy tee-shirts I have owned in the last thirty-five years, every garment has a story to tell. Embedded in my wardrobe is the journal of my states of mind. Fashion functioning as a way to both express my mood and create the way I want to feel; to communicate and enhance.

For the most part I am no longer the disturbed distressed person I was a young adult and my wardrobe reflects this. I still love black (can black express happiness?), but on occasion will choose colour. There is no mood that can’t be lifted by putting on red lipstick and some type of striped top.

I am nearly always happy. And if I’m not I can reframe it in some way to provide a positive outcome.

I am intrigued by the way other people use dress, clothes, fashion, call it what you will, to show who they are and how they feel. I want to know if there is a formula for wardrobe wellbeing, if I can find some way to ad(dress) depression with a simple positive psychology  intervention based on getting dressed in the morning. Can we choose to make ourselves happier by intentionally selecting an outfit?

I need to understand a little of why this research is so important to me in order that I can allow for this prejudice in my interviews and analysis. Part of the emotional response I have to clothes is the link to my mother and sisters, all beautiful women who used fashion to their best advantage. I associate being happy with a new dress, I link joy with the feeling of great fabric on my skin; I connect contentment with being wrapped in a cashmere cardigan or the pleasure of a certain pair of shoes creating the excitement of a chance encounter. Fashion for me is psychological and all about positive emotions. 

I have chosen 10 images which represent happy outfits for me. I’ll share a little of why and what they mean, however some of the emotions are so fleeting, as if made of gossamer, that they have been hard for me to catch. A whiff of happiness like a lost perfume, I know that at that moment when I wore that dress I felt great, but thinking about it in the present moment is often tinged with sadness; I am unable to recreate the feeling even if I put that dress on, it needs the context. There are other garments that haven’t lost the power to make me smile years down the line, what might it be about them that they can still make me smile? If I could work that out would I have a recipe for flourishing fashion?

1)Luella shoes – even if I just put these shoes on with jeans I would jump for joy; well not exactly jump because they are high but they make me so very happy. I wore them for my second wedding but they were love-worn long before then. They made me feel successful, in control of my own destiny and very special. I have loads of shoes which make me feel truly great but this pair is the best ever. Thinking about them makes me want to go and get them right now and wear them whilst I am writing. These shoes represent freedom, fun, and beifabulous forty something recreating the life I wanted just for me on the Kings Road; Chelsea Girl shoes.

2) Red Pyjamas – this were very soft winceyette and clashed with my hair, they were just pretty enough, not too little girly. I loved getting home and putting them on. My flatmate had almost matching ones, we often looked like bookends on the sofa. I still love the comfort of a great pair of PJ’s, they make me feel loved and as if I am being cuddled. This particular pair, this photo, reminds me of a great time living in LA. I wish I still had those red pyjamas.

3) Ghost-silver grey ‘wedding’ dress. Of course the dress you wear to get married in will always be special but this dress is more than that; it falls in such a sensuous way, it caresses your body so you feel really sexy. The cut is soft and flowing. It makes me feel a bit Hollywood, like a screen goddess and that’s a nice feeling. You can see how happy this dress made me on my wedding day and it hangs in a special spot so whenever I pass it I want to stroke it. It makes me very happy just knowing a dress as good as this exists.

4) Leather Jacket – this isn’t about the chips it’s all about my trusty black leather jacket. I could wear it with anything and it makes for a happy outfit. This one is a luxury but any I have owned have had the same effect; instant feel-good. I love black and white one of my best combinations… a sort of striped t-shirt effect but without the shirt or the stripes. If I needed to make myself feel strong and secure and very me I would wear my leather jacket and nothing else would matter. 

5) A Stripped T-shirt. If I had to have a desert island happy making wardrobe I would

fill it with stripy tees so had to add another one. My black jeans also make me happy and

you can just make them out in this photo.

6) Another Striped Tee-shirt – this one happens to be black and white but could just as easily be navy and white, any of  the many I own have the same instant positive effect. They make me feel on top of the world…tickety-boo…putting on a stripy tee is my version of Prozac. I could wear one every day and the world would be OK. I don’t really know why I have any other items in my wardrobe. Stripey tees are my ultimate happy garment. 

7) Paris T-shirt and check skirt – I have removed the leather jacket but it’s all part of the wellbeing-ness in this group of clothes. A tee–shirt that I go to when I don’t want to wear stripes but want the same feeling. For some reason I Feel like Simone de Beauvoir in this outfit and that’s a good thing. I like feeling clever. I also feel swishy in this skirt, its soft and comfortable and young (I’m sensing a theme). It has a feeling a bit like a school uniform. I look happy here.

8) Kenzo summer dress –I don’t look obviously happy in this photo but this is a genuine happy frock. It’s sunny and bright and jolly. I always take it on holiday because it is fun and a bit silly and that is how it makes me feel. It’s very young. I want to be just a bit outrageous in such an ebullient dress. It really is too short at my age but I just don’t care…if I could turn cartwheels I would do it in this dress and flash my knickers, that’s how good this makes me feel.

9) white shorts, printed top, gold sandals – my standard beach outfit,  always have some variation of this going on when I’m on holiday. White shorts make me feel that summer will go on for ever. This little top is so old but I love it; the print spells LOVE and that’s how I it makes me feel; young, sexy, relaxed and in love. The gold sandals are also ancient but make me feel beachy; I love pretty feet.

10) Black jump-suit – hmm black and white again, with giant pearls and red shoes. Jumpsuits sound childish, there is something not very mature about them so perhaps that’s why wearing this one at my fiftieth birthday made me happy. If I wear it with a t-shirt and leather jacket it makes me just as happy. It’s a bit like a pair of pyjamas in the comfort league but with glamour. I do love these shoes if I teamed them with the red PJ’s and leather jacket that would be a very happy outfit.

I am conducting an experiment on myself and for the next 7 days I will be dressing each

day with the sole intention of being happy, no outfit will be allowed if it doesn’t bring a smile

to my lips when I look in the mirror. Expect to see plenty of stripy tee-shirts! If anyone is

intrigued I will put the outfits on my instagram page, @wearingwellbeing, with a comment on

my emotional response.

Happy dressing xx