So DDJ is over and I’m reflecting on what in learnt…was
there any point in absenting myself from all forms of social media and denying myself
red wine for a month?
At the start of January I was feeling ‘burnt out’. I’m not a
great fan of psychometrics but it just so happened that I needed to ascertain
my wellbeing for a university assignment, my score on PANAS (try it here) was
on the low side for me, not clinically depressed but neither was it my normal
cheery bright-side reading. I was coming to the end of an intense year of
study, a Masters in Applied Positive Psychology, which had left me feeling uncertain
as to my intellectual abilities, I didn’t know what I wanted to do next and I wasn’t
sure why I had wanted a MAPP qualification in the first place. To compound my
misery I had been unable to dance since the end of November due to a silly
injury and the lack of exercise endorphins was kicking in; January found me
well and truly fed-up!
It seemed like an ideal time to retreat for a month and contemplate
in private, I turned off my notifications on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
and stocked up on fizzy water…and this is what I discovered…
When I am trying to let go of a habit I will find it easier
if I have a replacement arranged in advance. So instead of checking my phone in
the morning I made sure I had a book next to my bed, not just one that I happened
to be reading but a special one reserved for that time when I usually catch up
with social media. I allowed myself a chapter each morning with my tea and the
Today Programme.
Likewise having an alternative option to red wine in the evening
acted as a stand-in for that moment when the day turned to evening, I needed a
ritual that felt like a treat and most of the time fizzy water worked! I have drunk more camomile tea than I can remember ever consuming before and all that liquid does mean a lot more nighttime trips to the loo!
Whilst social media can be a habit that wastes time I am relatively
self-regulating in the way I use/used my online presence. I get a lot of
information via newsfeeds and certainly felt that a month without information gleaned
in this way hasn’t been beneficial. I enrich my knowledge with what I learn,
see and engage with through social media. Used as a platform to disseminate ideas
nothing else has the capacity to enhance the way I absorb the world. Stepping
back has made me realise that it’s a positive force for opening my mind to new possibilities.
I have missed friends
on social media. The connections I make online, those micro-moments that add to
my daily need to relate have become very important to me. Phone calls, face to
face meetings, long emails or even letters, are all lovely ways to be with
people but they are not always available. Staying connected to friends’ lives,
the everyday experiences they reveal online, the articles they share, shape my
relationships and without those networks I feel cut-off.
Given the current political climate I feel that I may have
benefitted from not ‘hearing’ the constant chatter of anxiety that must have
been going on, on the other hand I also feel that I haven’t been able to offer
support. Not that I feel that my occasional tweet would have any impact but I care
about what is going on in the world and appreciate social media for giving me
the chance to express my opinion; I don’t believe that we should overshare but
it is helpful for me to have an outlet for my thoughts. I enjoy using that line
of communication to say thank-you…to show my love for others work or to just
show I care.
Not drinking Wine has increased the speed at which I finish
the Guardian crossword. Just as checking FB was part of my morning routine so doing
the crossword in bed is an evening habit which has been enhanced by the additional
sharpness of sobriety.
I was disappointed that not drinking alcohol had no impact on my weight, in fact I have a feeling that my jeans
are tighter at the end of January, that may not be the fault of no-wine however
but my enforced exercise limits. Yoga isn’t
quite the same in burning calories!
The most difficult social media platform to not take a peek
of was Instagram. I missed Instagram with a deep longing. I use instagram to catalogue
the positive beauty I encounter daily. I miss having a space to create my view
of the world. Instagram acts as a visual diary to remind me of how amazing this
life, my life is, and how lucky I am.
When I felt the urge to give in to either wine or Instagram I
took the time to question what was going on around me, what need was I trying
to meet? Being mindful was the most helpful strategy and what I learnt about myself
will continue to inform the manner in which I drink and interact online.
I’m really looking forward to connecting and drinking. This has
been a month in which avoiding wine and Facebook has created a space that I have
filled with productive reflection, and tidying cupboards. It has made me
realise that it's ok to take pleasure in a bottle of wine with friends and that there
is nothing damaging to my mental health in spending time on Twitter.
My positive emotion count is up, although whether this has
anything to do with abstinence is uncertain, I have more energy, I am ready to
get back out and be in the world. It hasn’t done me any harm to disconnect and
detox my liver but I can’t categorically say I feel it made any real difference
to my physiology or psychology and I don’t think I will repeat the experiment
any time soon. Hurrah for February.
