Tuesday 1 September 2015

Weddings & Special Events: How stay in the Calm Zone.


A wedding is a major life event and like so many areas in our lives can cause us to become stressed as well as excited.

The stress hormones and those involved in excitement often feel (in our bodily responses) the same; sometimes we find it hard to differentiate whether a racing heart, sweaty palms and that churning in the stomach are reactions to fear or anticipation of pleasure.

Mindfulness can help us to make an accurate evaluation of the physical feelings we are experiencing at such times. And focusing on the body allows the alarm moment to pass. We take a breath as we turn our attention internally; this moment is all we need to come back to the present. We don’t have to respond to the trigger and are able to let it fade away.

They may be times in the build up to an important event, such as a wedding or a presentation deadline when the stress of getting to the goal seems overwhelming, even becoming so familiar it seems normal. We want to be able to utilise the positive energy of adrenalin without upsetting our balance and activating too much cortisol into the mix. Spending too much time in the ‘Stress Zone’ is exhausting and counter productive.


Enjoy Life in the Calm Zone


It helps to recognize your own ways of responding to stress by self-mapping.
  • What are your thoughts telling you? Are you ruminating on negative self talk? Are you rushing decisions without taking the time to think them through? Learn to recognize thoughts as temporary, fallible, and symptomatic.
  • What is your body telling you? Are aches and pains a sign that you are not taking as much self care as you need? Is lack of sleep aggravating stress? Listen to the way your body feels with compassion, allow yourself the time for physical self care.
  • How are you behaving? Are you withdrawing from others? Drinking too much? Returning to unhelpful habits? Eating less or more? Recognize behaviour that runs on autopilot as unsupportive.
  • What are your emotions saying? Are tears a sign you are becoming overwhelmed? Are you snappy and irritable? Are you feeling restless and can’t settle ? do you have a sense of sadness? Do you feel you are in this alone? Create a non-reactive space in your head where you can observe your emotions, acknowledge them and then allow them to naturally fall away.
In the run up to a major event learn to say ‘No’ and give yourself real space to activate relaxation. Having a meditation practice, doing yoga, reading, walking, dancing, running, painting, whatever works for you to put you in the ‘Calm Zone’.

Sometimes it helps to have the support of a therapist when we know that stressful times are on the horizon. We can use counselling and hypnotherapy as an adjunct to prevent the build-up of pre-event anxiety. One of the techniques commonly applied in hypnotherapy is rehearsing in our subconscious a future occasion, in this way we can preload our minds with a positive outcome and deal with possible negative ideas that would spoil the situation if left to irritate.

Fostering a calm and tranquil attitude to big occasions will make the day flow and help all the good memories to embed in your mind……so that when you look forward to looking back you get a flood of feel good hormones all over again.

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